kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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