Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I will pee on everything he values.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
