I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I supernannyed him into submission
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
