Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
