i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
