but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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