the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
