Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.

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(214): View more from Texas

That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck

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(478): View more from Georgia

He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts

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(707): View more from California

After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs

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(571): View more from Virginia

We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick

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(520): View more from Arizona

You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border

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