JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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