Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
