I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
