More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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