Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Found your dick twin last night
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
