Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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