FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
