Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
