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• (407): View more from Florida

  So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.

  (352): View more from Florida

  WHAT?!

  (407): View more from Florida

  He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?

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• (714): View more from California

  Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw

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• (716): View more from New York

  My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...

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