They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My pussy is not your playground.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
