she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
