He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
