Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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