I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
