He is an equal opportunity slut.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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