JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
