Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
