You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
