Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
