I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
