We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
