A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
