Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
and you fell through a lawn chair
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
