Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
