I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
