My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
