they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
