I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
