He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
