I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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