hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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