hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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