You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I want to have your abortion
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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