I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
