First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
