At least make sure they are 18
Why
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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