You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
