If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
