i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
