I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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