great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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