Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
